Dorchester unAthletic 5 v 25 Swans 3rd
Today’s givers of numerous penalties were:
1. Please let me off the pitch I’m blowing from the warm up ADAMS
2. Old Head on Old Shoulders WOODBRIDGE
3. I hate you so much right now but even more tomorrow morning DUNCAN
4. My bags are too heavy to carry KING
5. I’m 42 and I go running just not on a Saturday BROADBENT
6. Straight down WOODS
7. We do sheering not pizza’s GOODFELLOW
8. Fine don’t listen to me then, I’m only the Captain O’CONNELL
9. They call me Mr CREE here too CREE
10. Mumbles
11. So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu MOCKETT
12. Double shift NEWTON
13. Herr Flic GRASSBY
14. Goldilocks MORRIS
15. I’m just saying CLARK
16. Hernia BIRCH
17. They’re not big but in proportion SKIDMORE
Oh me oh my, it’s important to understand how a belly full of red wine can give you perspective, but although the vino is affecting my typing it hasn’t impeded by reading, and on checking the other results in the league, I saw that Poole lost at home by 46 points (that’s the newly promoted team that we struggled to beat last week). Given too that Swans were spanked last week shipping 50 points to South Wilts, we can be under no illusion as to the task that lies ahead of us the rest of this year.
Firstly the positives...Moving on we were bobbins today, and as Captain I hold my hands up and accept a lot of the blame lies at my door. It was not until 5 minutes before kickoff that the entire team had arrived and we were finally able to finalise who was playing where. For the first 10 minutes though, there was only one team I could see winning and it wasn’t Swans. Up front the teams were even, but we seemed to have a slight edge, and several early probing runs had Swans on the back foot. Sadly, having been praised by the referee last week for our discipline, this week we reverted to type, and Swans like the old pro’s they are took full advantage. They slowed ball at every stage, they frustrated us in contact, and slowly wore down our forwards with maul after maul, eventually getting a nudge in the scrum too. Moan all you like, but it’s amazing what you can do get away with if you have the ref on your side, and we did everything to make sure he wasn’t on ours.
Constant infringement from ourselves as we struggled to accept the refs interpretation of the rules and Swans kept the score ticking over, thankfully though, this gave Joe NEWTON a great opportunity to practise his restarts, putting most of them on the money allowing the forwards to get under the high ball showing just a glimpse of the player who could be a real asset to us this year. Sadly we didn’t learn from our infringements, or even to keep our mouths shut, so even when at lines outs when the Swans fly half was catching the ball it was so far from straight it would invariable be missed by the ref. Starved of any decent ball the back became frustrated, and when chances did come our way we seemed to snatch at the ball. Sadly too, their whiley old backs knew exactly how to get under our younger players skins, and we reverted to kicking and chasing in attack, and dog legging in defence so that even the old boy in the Zimmer frame managed to throw dummy and give a little side step to boot.
Despite having the younger backs, there isn’t much you can do starved of ball, and pinned in our own half for most of the first half, a big shout has to go to the clearing kicks of Dave CLARK, who even recovered from dropping the ball between his legs over our own try line on more than one occasion (and I had always been told he had sticky fingers). All those daft penalties we’d given away saw us 9 points down when another infringement gave Swans a 5 minute spell camped on our try line and despite some resolute defence, they eventually managed to bundle over and at half time we only had ourselves to blame for being 16 nil down.
Strangely, despite having regrouped and having come up with a game plan, we didn’t seem to have the guile to apply ourselves to it, and Swans, clearly tiring just kept the ball tied up in their forwards deciding that didn’t want to share it with us anymore. No needing to be psychic to see what came next, we shipped even more penalties, again Swans kept the score line ticking over and taking the game out of reach without actually having to play any decent rugby. Having been told by Addo 5 mins into the first half he was blowing, it was only by hook and by crook that we kept him on as long as we did, but not long into the second period it was time for one of two changes that had a very positive impact on the game. Firstly on came the Birch man, and frightening as he may appear to children, he certainly gave his all on the pitch and tackle after tackle brought a smile to all our faces. Then on came Skidders for Broaders who really shouldn’t have been taken off, but part of the two is about giving youth the opportunity to make mistakes and think for themselves with having the reassurance of some like Broaders beside you (back to this later). Being twice as tall as anyone else we began stealing line outs, despite being incredibly lighter in the pack we began holding our scrums, and managed to get some quicker ball in our backs. Ultimately this led to better field position, more chances, and when playing the high tempo game we know we are capable of, we forced the try, Woody scoring when and one of three players could have scored, such was our overlap.
Sadly any thoughts of a comeback were dashed, due initially to those penalties we have already talked about, but also due to the fact that we still couldn’t keep quiet. Believing that we must naturally know more about the rules of the game of rugby then the ref and one comment too many saw that youth being give the opportunity to make mistakes and think for himself do just that and get binned for gobbing off for the final ten minutes of the game ( I was not surprised to find out after the game that it was Kinger’s dad who the ref had threatened to send off too).
Backs against the wall for the final 10 mins, we stopped our white wash from being crossed again. Post match everyone accepted if we don’t train together, it’s no surprise that we are struggling to play together. Losing is a part of life, it’s just nicer to swallow with that spoonful of sugar when you know you played your best.
That positive we talked about, two weeks in, only two tries conceded, and we will get better.
Men of the match: Alex Skidmore and Lawrence Birch for patiently waiting for their chance to get on, and then grabbing it with both hands.
Dick of the day: Several contenders, Rob Goodfellow for taking out the man with the ball in the air, but this would be harsh given the ref actually gave a knock on in favour of us. Rob Woods for repeatedly getting binged for the same offence, but then he played tight head in the second half so...this week’s award goes to Kinger for getting binned for excessive use of his gob...if only yellow cards worked in real life too.
