This weekend for me was something out of the twilight zone, as months before the season started I checked the fixture list to carefully plan a trip to London to see the family before the due date of my third child, only to find once the season started my best laid plans had gone to waste and my 'free weekend' now had a cup fixture on it.

All the gentlemen of the club who have been graced with children will know what I mean when I say it is impossible to argue with a pregnant woman, and try as I might on this matter my darling wife was like an immovable object: We were going to London and that was that! There were tears, there were tantrums, there were harsh words spoken, but eventually Simon accepted he'd have to spend a weekend without seeing me and lead the team himself: What a team he had to lead though:

1. Alex 'See you in December when I can play next' Duncan
2. Simon 'El Capitano' Pengelly
3. Richard 'The Lionheart' Borries
4. Martyn 'He's okay' Peel
5. Ben 'Peter Crouch' Greensmith
6. Rob 'Please can I play front row' Woods
7. Justin 'I'll be back' Miller
8. Ian 'Mean Machine' Dixon
9. Charlie 'Back to the centres you go' Norton
10. Anthony 'Clover' Biswell
11. Hugh 'Rough Diamond' Pryce
12. Joe 'Part-man part-machine' Gower
13. Tom 'Desperate to be man of the match' Clifford
14. Thomas 'Winger at heart' Gower
15. Dave 'We can't hear you' Clark

16. Mike 'I don't want to travel' Solway
17. Ben 'Why didn't I start? I've trained twice all year' Hull
18. Ross 'I'll play anywhere' McDonald

Walk of shame (from dropping out at late notice)...

19. Leigh 'Sore Knee' Ford
20. Bill 'Intimidated at having to start' Gates

Team Manager: Roger Clark
Backs Coach: Adam Jones

This weeks match report by Roger:

First half was a very good but tight half, Dorch having the best of the battle, Thomas Gower scored after about 10mins, Clarkie missing the conversion. It was just the same old thing, dropping passes (Butter fingers Biswell chief culprit), losing the ball in contact (anyone with the number 1 - 15 on their back) and some forward passing, so half time Mal 0 Dorch 5.

Second half Dorch playing up the slope (ratio of 1:5) we started the stronger still knocking the ball on (still Biswell), but Dorch forwards started getting into their hard work, Marlborough though playing the better rugby, then the forwards won quick ball which went down the line for another Gower score in the corner, once again Clarkie missed the conversion. Then the Dorch pack started to win ball after ball (Dixon allegedly everywhere) it then became a one way game in the last 15 mins, Dorch went on to score fairly easily: Dixon, con by Bones, then some very good backs play (Something apparently to do with the change at 10 according to the sub) finished off by Clarkie, con by Bones. 

Just a very all round game played in good spirit by both teams: Man of the match Dicko very good game at 8. and Mupphet of the MatchTom Clifford, 1 because off running away last week, 2, almost doing the same thing this week.

Asked about about the game Biswell said "When the ball stuck I was brilliant but everyone else let me down", whilst Simon said "It was tough without our Captain, and without your natural leadership we struggled in the first half". He then confirmed he was kissing by butt as Ross who has been knocking on the door all season had a great game when he came on and Si is worried about his starting place. Finally that meant only the Man of the Match was left to speak to, but all I managed to get out of him that was coherant was something about being a Hercules!

Whilst this went on I very nearly got divorced in London as I kept sneaking off to get text updates from Roger - You should have seen her in doors face - Just as well no one calls rugby the beautiful game.