Ladies and gentlemen, in association with the newly formed 'Tickled Pink Society' it is my great honour to introduce to you, the good, the bad and the ugly of Dorchester A XV who took on and (trying not to give the end away) beat a North Dorset III XV:
1. Alex 'How many times to I have to be told it's Addo's b'day' Duncan
2. Simon 'I've got less game time this season then peeley' Pengelly
3. Todd 'I hate Tony' Richards
4. Martyn 'I too hate you' Peel
20. John 'Yes you did let us down going off early' Foster
6. Mike 'Late hit specialist' Solway
7. Justin 'Oh how we've missed you' Miller
8. Tony 'DOR-CHEST-ER' O'Connell (Capt)
9. Dave 'the mouth' Clark
10. Jim 'It's not puppy fat anymore' Rossiter
11. Jordan 'Don't cut back inside' Mockett
12. Nick 'Nice guns in the making' Charlier
21. Leigh 'banana boots' Ford
23. Owen 'Please let me touch the ball' Spratt
14. Jon 'Silent Assasin' West
16. Mark 'Yes we know it's your birthday' Adams
17. Ross 'No I'm not related to Rondald' McDonald
18. Rob 'No I don't want a free pint' Wood
19. Jamie 'I've got a sore throat' Critchley
5. Ben 'I've got a sore toe' Greensmith
13. Toby 'No show' Waddington
22. Stu 'I'm too good to play for your team so I'm not going to turn up' Zealand
24. Tom '1990's bleach blond throw back' Clifford
25. Andy 'I've exhausted myself from the warm up' Luton
26. Ian 'Token gesture' Dixon
15. Anthony '(sung to the oliver theme) I'd do anything, for you mike anything' Biswell*
*Left for the first team saturday morning, but from all accounts will be back with us next week!
Having enjoyed an Indian summer this last week, and having already seen Peeley and Chris R wilt in the sun once before (
see match report from first game against Bournemouth) it was with certain amount of thanks that I arrived at the club on a murky and overcast afternoon to prepare for our second home game of the season. Having lost against Bournemouth when we should have won, and been convincingly beaten by Ellingham and Ringwood, I have to admit my bowel movements resembled the waterfall from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory prior to kick off such were my nerves.
This condition was not improved by Jim R trying his best not to play, blagging a lift from Roger as a condition of turning up and then accidentally forgetting his wallet, Ben and Jamie decided they were both a little poorly and couldn't start, Dixon reminding us how useless he really is by declaring himself not fit for anything, Toby showing what Dixon can do better by not even turning up and Stu Zealand deciding after two training sessions that he isn't as good as we thought a Stu Zealander should be and quitting whilst he was ahead: Thankfully I shouldn't have worried given the talent remaining.
From the start we were clearly very nervous: Would Peeley make it to half time? Would Clarke retire during the match? Would Leigh drift? Would the new slightly larger Jim be able to make it around the park? Well lets start in reverse order: Jim's kick off to them didn't go 10 meters, he missed all his penalty attempts but scored a try using his new found bulk to drive over from 5 meters, and as it was the winning try, well done Jim. As for Leigh, did he drift? Of course he did as well as nursing Nick through his first senior game and acting as a first half battering ram for Jim and as for Clarke, got to be honest I'm still not sure as he retired every 30 seconds during the match, went home for his dinner and didn't come back, so who knows. That just leaves 'the daddy' who apparently thinks I shout a lot. Well lets just say we nursed him through the match, regular breaks, plenty of water, the man turns social loafing into an art form BUT and yes it's a big butt too, damn doesn't he scrum well!
After a nervy first 5 minutes confidence began to flow,the forwards dominating the set plays, and the back showing how dangerous they were when given a quick platform to work from Clarke became the seasons top try scorer with two tries when another darting run showed what we'll be missing the rest of the season. Thankfully another player whose leaving won't be as missed as his main contribution was to get binned and allowed North to get back into the game during the only period of play they seriously threatened our line meaning the half time score was 5 - 5 (did I forget to mention Jim missed the conversion?).
Changes were made now that North were tiring, with the overly talented Miller adding more pace to the backline, woody coming on to add more grunt to the forwards, not forgetting Ross who came on for the increasingly over-rated and injury prone Simon in the first half we ran the show baby! The only real question was how we didn't win by more, as it can't be often all 15 players get try line fever, thankfully though JR dived over to score what turned out to be the winning try, and he got the conversion too. More changes were made, the most impactive being Addo whose first involvement was to give away a penalty or Andy who was frightening slow for a winger. Finally big shout out to Alex who got man of the match, being honest I didn't think he was that good, but those on the touch line assured me he was. Rather pathetically Peeley got muppet of the match for all his moaning and he couldn't even get that right drinking with the wrong hand so he had to do it again.
Great game, great win, great night out after!!! Lederhosen rocks!!!
Finally three games in and I've lost my fly half and now my scrum half, do I really talk to much? Answers on a postcard too...
