Friendly: Ivel Barbarians vs Dorchester A XV

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• On a rainy and wind swept afternoon those hardy but not so talented men of Dorchester’s second string met at the club in their flat caps, pink t-shirts, shorts and flip flops to make the journey to the Barbarians ground. Sadly Wes Lewis our young pretty boy fly-half called in sick promising to bring in a note from his mum, Joe Gower was AWOL having celebrated his 21st the previous evening, and Rob Hodge guesting with us for the afternoon went straight on when everyone else went left and crashed his car. This left Tom Cains as our only back replacement, but reprieve came in the form of a harassed looking Alan Bleakley who unexpectedly arrived at the ground to swell our numbers knowing he’d have to rush off after the game to get dinner out of the oven.
  
  Team manager: Roger Clark
  
  1. Alex ‘the beast’
  2. Simon ‘the voice’ (vice captain)
  3. Todd ‘you’ll live’
  4. Adam ‘the straight’ (pack leader)
  5. Kareem ‘the flyer’
  6. Ian ‘the lazy’
  7. Rob ‘the bosh’
  8. Tony ‘the lame’ (captain)
  9. Dave G ‘medicine man’
  10. Bones ‘the moan’
  11. Richard K ‘the caught’
  12. Charlie ‘the talent’
  13. Leigh ‘the kicker’
  14. Owen ‘the bush’
  15. Anthony ‘blade runner’
  16. Ross ‘the pink’
  17. Kinger ‘the passive’
  18. Chris ‘the tame’
  19. Tom ‘the boom’
  20. Alan ‘the brave’.
  
  The game kicked off with Dorchester receiving, Stilts securing the ball supported by Tony who was taken out off the ball with a cheap shot from the opposition captain. He bravely got back up to his feet to join the subsequent line out before falling like a lame horse with a dead leg. Roger came on with the magic spray, and a quick rub later was back on his feet. After this the teams proved evenly matched with Ivel playing better as a team and Dorchester playing excellent rugby but as individuals, meaning although Dorch spent more time in the opposition half Ivel were always a threat, and so it was Dorchester were undone by a well worked over lap for their winger to finish in the corner. From the restart Dorchester showed they meant business with Rob Goodfellow putting in a hugh hit on the receiver, but of note also was one of the finest tackles ever made on a tall second row running like he had a broom up his bum, when Kareem took flight in the tackle, flipped twice, performed a perfect tuck before hitting the ground hard.
  
  The game progressed to a battle of the 10’s, with the Ivel 10 kicking his team into great field possession turning defence into attack with his kicking from hand whilst the Dorchester 10 when provided quick ball by his forwards was playing finger tip rugby giving the centres and full back balls they could run onto and take at pace. One well worked move gave Richard the little bit of space he needs, and having beat the full back with the try line at his mercy the Ivel 8 having an excellent game made a great tackle to stop a certain try.
  
  Chris replaced a clearly struggling Tony, and Richard having made his one run came off for Tom. Only last minute tackling from both teams stopped the score from changing before half time.
  
  After the restart it was much of the same, but having not learnt their lesson from the first half Ivel worked the same move to create an over lap and score again in the corner, a score which hurt more as it came from turn over ball when Dorchester had again gone a individuals instead of pairs. However this injustice spurred Dorchester on to a period of sustained pressure which resulted in stilts being driven over by Ian Dixon, who having been told his position was under pressure before kick off played out of his skin, getting along with Rob Goodfellow the man of the match award. With time running out to get the winning score Alan came on to try and force the issue, and proving you should never judge a book by it’s cover Ivel began kicking high balls at Alan to no avail. With the final attack of the game Chris R proved to you can’t lose what you never had with a two on one failed to either break the tackle of a 9 stone winger or pass the ball to Alan who would have scored the winning try.
  
  Other incidents of note included Roger cradling Todd in his arms telling him to stop crying and he’d live after one of his own team poked him in the eye and Tom Cains being given man and ball and being given the boom treatment. Dave G, Kareem and Todd showed what Dorchester will be missing when the finish their short stays with us but debut performances from Alex, Anthony, Charlie, Leigh and Owen confirmed the newfound strength and depth of players at the club. With a solid line out and scrum platform to build on, and some fluid movement in the backs with other players to come back and contest for places, the A XV are entering a brave new world.